Cousin Kim

A few weeks ago, my Cousin Kim, who is actually my Cousins wife, but we have taken her in as our own, found out she had a tumor and was going to have surgery to have it removed. When they removed the tumor, the also found that she had colon cancer and it had spread. The word is that, she will have 6 months to a year to live. I took this very hard, yet at that time I only told my best friend and my best cousin, I could not bare to tell my soul mate, my Hubby. I had just heard this news after hearing my "good" news, of not having Lupus but diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I was going to be ok and she wasn't. I still don't understand how this is fair. Here I was so worried about myself and someone dear to my heart had it worse. GUILT is what I feel. I am able to hold back the tears, sometimes, because I haven't heard it from her directly. She finally came home last week, and with her doctors appointments and Mothers Day, I haven't had a chance to see her...I need to see her.