My Brother pointed out something my Mom had posted on fb. Innocently commented, but to me and my siblings, we read through the lines and take it personal.
About 25 years ago, when I was 17, my Mom made a decision that effected the rest of us for the rest of our lives. Mom decided she was leaving my Dad and 3 of us 5 kids. Mom decided she was taking the 2 youngest siblings. We some how protested and Mom gave us the 2 back, and she was gone. I am the oldest of my 4 siblings and even though back then I was ready to do my own thing, I still kept in touch with my siblings and made sure everything was ok. Fast forward, Mom is involved in our lives, keeps contact and visits. Mom lives out of state and when my Sister became an adolescent she decided to live with my Mom. We all have married, and 4 of the 5 of us have children.
This issue of my Mom leaving us, is a tender, healing wound. I have no grudges, and now that I am a married with kids and an adult, I understand why someone would make that decision, but it doesn't mean that I agree with it. I forgave and I love Mom. However, every once in a while something pricks that wound and it hurts! This hurt, has always been for me to deal with, not my siblings, and not my Mom. I don't put that weight on them, its my issue to deal with and that is that. I know, thats not how all of us deal with it and Mom knows, it bothers some of us but she didn't know, it hurts ALL of us still. I had to recently explain this to her when my Brother told her she was "insensitive" on her fb to claim how happy she was with 3 grandchildren she has out there, and what about the rest of us out here and our children. My Mom responded, in so many words, to him with, I've said sorry and you should get over it. Then she proceeded to text me and ask me if there was something wrong with her comment on fb. Thats when I took the opportunity to explain to her. Nothing was wrong with her comment, but we tend to read into things, of course we are jealous, she is out there and we are here, some of us just deal with it differently. No response. The next day Mom sent out another text, she was truly sorry and her past has once again caught up with her, she love all the grandkids the same and she is sorry if we feel she holds any in higher regard. She wishes we would of shared this with her, so much time has gone by and she feels like a fool, thinking everything was ok.
I explained to her, that I did not think she loved any grandkids more than others. She should not feel foolish, it wasn't like I was being two faced to her all the times I visited, she should know me better than that. I do feel because she made that choice all those years ago, I still feel she is making that same choice by staying out there. This was my issue to deal with and not hers. I just needed for her to know one thing...that I loved her.
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